Wednesday, October 3, 2012


It's already 3rd October. How fast is the time?! I'm sitting for SPM in 1 month omg.

I finally got back my English paper. It's been almost 1 month lol.
74%. I cried.
Ms Cheong called my name, I took a deep breath before getting up. Then Ms Cheong was checking a list, then write down my marks on my paper.
74%. B+

She said she like my storyline, I used good vocabs, but there are plenty of grammar mistakes.
She suggested me that I should read again after I finished the essay.
I just nodded, I didn't say anything.

I got the paper, walked back to my seat. I tried to fake a smile but I can't. Once I sat down, I cried.
My eyes was moisturized. I can't hold on.
Everyone was comforting me. Priya, the Indian girl who sat in front of me was so shocked when she saw me crying.
Seriously, I don't want this result.

74 again, this is a huge blow. I got 74 in the earlier exam, I said I don't want to get 74 again yet I still get it.
Am I giving myself too much stress on this subject?

omg I'm crying now.
I thought I won't sad because of this result. I thought I won't cry anymore.

I got 6 As in UPSR,
1A in PMR,
now I'm afraid I can't even get an A in SPM.

Ms Cheong even added 1 mark for me in the continuous writing, so that I get 32, C. Otherwise my marks was 31, D.
She helped me, still only 74.
I know I didn't do well in the reading comprehension. I got only 5 marks out of 10.
If I did better, I can get at least an A-!

Who can I blame? What can I blame?
I can only blame myself.
I'm really sad..

I got 19 for my History subject, I didn't even feel sad or anything.
But I'm crying over a 74% result?
Is it too ridiculous?
You would only know my feeling, when all of your results are worse enough but there's 1 subject that let you shine in your class, among your friends. The one and only subject that can let you be proud of.

Everytime when I got a bad result, I would start to think that I let down a lot of people.
My teachers, my tuition teachers.
Mrs.Kho who was my tuition teacher for 11 years, whilst I only get A in English in the 11 years.
Sir Hock Ming, who was my tuition teacher for 2 and half years.
Ms Cheong, who taught me for these 2 years.
And some of the teachers who once think highly of me.
Sorry if I disappointed you all again in the trial.

Ms Cheong said the trials usually harder than SPM.
Yes I know that but that can't change my mind.
I only know that I didn't get an A again.

When I was mumbling about my 74%, Mong said am I insulting her?
No, I'm not for sure. I won't do that in my life.
I'm not trying to say how low marks I got,
I'm saying that I didn't achieve my target again.
This is my target, the only hope.

OMG I think I have to apologize to the readers too.
Because every time I got my paper back, I will keep mumbling about my results.
I'm sorry to let you read a such depressing post.
But, let me say it out okay?
I have no one, no place to talk to. My dearest blog is all I have.

Stop all that depressing stuff!
Tomorrow is the last day of school in this week, then we're off on Friday and next Monday.
Tang Tang, Eunice and I are going to have sushi tomorrow after school!
We 5EA1 girls are having steamboat again on Friday too!
I'm so excited!
I love gatherings!

Stop depressing, and do well next time!
I have to do well next time!
It's now or never, SPM, A is my target!!!
1119 have to score well as well!!

I want to become a English tuition teacher in future. =D
Call me BI Chua! lol Don't do this!!!

Attending English class today. The teacher always asked what did we do yesterday or today.
Can I say I cried today? lol

Keep holding on!!!

I failed my driving test lol. Expected though.

释怀了吗? 应该要吧.
看开, 就不会难过了.
不去想, 就不会难过了.
成绩不能代表一切是Hock Ming老师一直跟我讲的.
只因为, 我把英文成绩看得太重了.

或许把它当成sejarah来看, 拿到这个分数我会开心死了吧 哈哈哈
只是, 不行.
希望越大, 失望越大.

现在连75都没有 =(  都说了梦与现实相反!

pia好好来, 一定要拿A!!
要好好改正grammar错误, 作文写好一点!


每个人一直叫我勤劳一点读书, 一直讲我可以的.

Haven't get Chinese paper yet in fact lol.
I don't think that I can get higher than C.
Perhaps just a D lol.

It's alright, It's okay.
I'm so much better without you.
-It's alright, It's okay by Ashley Tisdale-

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