Wednesday, May 22, 2013


It's higher education season now. Form 6 has started school, diploma started 1 month ago, second batch are starting now.
Me myself, second batch of foundation class, started class on Monday.
The first day was okay, orientation in the hall for about 3-4 hours. Nothing but boring throughout the whole time. I felt very sleepy haha. Went back home at around 12-ish.

Tuesday was my first school day, had prinsip account class and mathematics class. Acc class was okay because the lecturer didn't teach anything, he only let us introduce ourself by saying our names and from where. Me and another girl are the only 2 from Taman Universiti! 1 Singaporean in my class 어머.
After class, a girl shook hand with me and say, "Hi, you're from Taman Universiti!" She's from SMK Desa. She's petite and very cute lol.

But I don't know how should I do in future.. I never learn about account before..

The mathematics class was tiring. First, due to the early end of acc class, everyone were earlier to the maths class. I went into class 15 minutes before but the lecturer has already writing notes on the whiteboard. Once I sat down, just kept copying. Second, this is my first time having Indian teacher teaching maths. Weird feeling lol.
3 hours of maths made me extra sleepy. At the end of the class, he gave us assignment to do. I done it in the class. But I felt helpless. I don't know why.
In 5EA1, when I'm done, usually Wen Wen and others has already done. Then I'll proceed to check answers with them. But in this class, I'm not dare to check answer with the girl beside me. I just done it, looking blankly to the front, rewinding memories in secondary school..
But then the girl beside me checked my answer and pointed out my wrong. But her final answer was wrong too..oops. I didn't have the chance to tell her because after I recalculating, the lecturer announced that the class is over. oops

Today, statistics class. It was originally 3 hours, but lecturer ended the class after 1 hour omg. Extra boring because yesterday the maths class has learned statistics, today's class is basically exactly the same thing with yesterday.

After these 2 days of class, I kinda felt helpless lol..
Do I look very scary when I'm not smiling? Today the girl beside me kept look at me but don't dare to speak with me. I knew she's looking at me but she didn't say anything.

Having no friends in school, is it weird? Yesterday a girl asked me am I alone in this school. I said yes, and she asked why didn't attend with friends. I said some going form 6, some going other schools, some in this school but different course.

I'm basically the loner in the class lol. I always sat at the seat beside the door because that seat always empty when I got in the class. Sometimes it really felt awkward being alone in the class because when lecturer haven't come in class, everyone were talking but I'm looking outside blankly, or look at the timetable or look at nails.

I know some people wants to quit form 6 because they felt it is hard.
Hey, me too. I have statistics, account, mathematics, sociology, moral and English class. Most of them are maths, involving my fear, numbers.
But what can I do? I felt regret for choosing foundation over diploma of English, but I've already chose it . All I can do is continue it.
Hard? Please, everything about maths is hard for me, moreover acc is something I never touched before which makes me extremely afraid of.
But I'll overcome it, try to understand it.
Most of you, the form 6 students around me have friends in school. I have no one. I'm basically the loner. But no friends doesn't stop you from learning!

Have you ever felt embarrassed when you walked in the class alone and everybody are looking at you? Ever tried you don't know where to sit so you'll just sit at the seat nearest to the door to avoid embarrassed feeling of looking for empty seat?
When lecturer speaking you felt sleepy but suddenly memories in secondary school flash in your mind?
This is the life I'm living. And yet this is my second school day. I have 1 year to go.

Don't complain, embrace what you've chosen. Decisions shouldn't be made recklessly. Think carefully, speak with your family before making any major decisions.
Don't regret about any decisions you made.

I do miss my form 5 life more than usual in class. But I'm a college student now. I have to grow. Yes I'm a loner, so what? Life's still going on. Earth is still spinning. I'm still living and I still have to live in future. Try to look at the bright side.

I have my first English class tomorrow and I'm very looking forward to it!!! My favourite class!!

Guys... I miss you all..

I thought I wouldn’t be sad at all but traces of you still remain
At memories of us laughing and crying together,
Today I’m officially missing you

Ooh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby, said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially missing you
I’m officially missing you
---Officially missing you by Akdong Musician---

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