Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Goodbye.

My Japanese friends had flown back. 
They landed safe and sound.
The plane took around 12 hours.
When she told me she arrived, I told her how we were still having dinner yesterday.
But now you're in Japan.
Malaysia and Japan in 24 hours.

Last Sunday, 21st June, we had our last dinner together.
I went to my friend's house for the weekend, so we were rushing back.
After having father's day dinner with my family, I rushed to school.
Then we went to Paparich for dinner.

I was very quiet, to a point where my friend asked why am I so quiet.
Flashback, I remembered how few years ago Eunice, Esther and Mong asked me the same question all the time.
Amusingly, I answered the same answer.
"I'm tired."
I'm sad. Deep, deep in my heart, I felt it.

We went to Aeon, bought some sweets 'cause I think I'll need it.
I was being crazy that day, doing weird actions, saying weird things.
I was sad.

When we went to pick up car, I went off to pay the parking ticket, alone.
My friends followed me, and one of them said,
"you're not alone."
I wanted to cry.
I told her I think I'm gonna cry, she said just cry.
My tears were spinning in my eyes.
Held it back, drove back to school.

Saw my Japanese friend, Remi knocked my car after we sitting in for a while.
I took a deep breath, opened the door. 
I saw her, and I started to cry.

We all cried. Standing on the road, crying.
I already knew this, I expected this.
I had so many things to tell her, but I couldn't.
But I held my Korean friend's hand, said
"가지마라. 여기서 영웡히 사라"
I didn't even know if it's grammatically correct.
"Don't go. Stay here forever."
She said it's like a boyfriend saying to girlfriend. 
Hahaha. I meant it.
We walked our hosteler friends back, cried damn hard in front of the hostel again lol.

When it's finally time to go, I and my partner looking at them.
I couldn't bear.
At last, I know we really have to go and say goodbye there.
I waved, saying bye in very small volume.
I couldn't bring myself to say it.


I cried damn hard that day, when I was driving back home lol.
I really couldn't bear to leave them.
It's only 3 months, our friendship isn't that strong tbh.
But when it's really goodbye, I seriously couldn't bring myself to say it.

I know after saying goodbye, it's forever.
Unless she comes back lol.

I had so many things to tell her, but I didn't.
Whenever I tried to speak, I choked, my tears flew down like niagra falls.
I wanted to say, Remi, thank you and sorry for these 3 months.
Please do take good care of yourself, and please visit us if you have the chance in future.
Please do not forget that you have a gang of friends here in Malaysia, here in Southern University.
Please do not forget English lol.

I didn't say anything.
I wrote her a letter, with heart.
I apologized. She said I don't have to.
"But I think there's things I need to do, but I didn't do them well".
Even this short sentence, I choked like hell.

It's like graduation again.
A goodbye, means goodbye.

I'm lucky to have a friend in my life for 3 months.
But I hope this friendship will last forever.

I'll always remember I have a Japanese friend,
from Aichi University, very cute and beautiful,
fluent in English and Chinese, and of course Japanese.
She's very talented in languages, she was even learning Korean.
That cute little girl, always misspelled my name as Selena.
Whenever she sees me in school, she'll scream and run to me.
She's one year younger than me, and she always have perfect makeup on. I love her lip colour lol.
That girl, is called Remi Moriyama.

Thank you Remi for appearing in my life for 3 months.
If things go smoothly, your juniors may be coming next year.
Next year, I'll join the program again, and take good care of them.
I'll ask them if they know Remi Moriyama, and I was her language partner.


Nice to meet you Remi, I'm Selina.
Thank you. Sorry.
Goodbye.


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